Friday, October 8, 2010

So, Here's The Deal. (In Which I Ramble)

Yes, it seems I've taken an unanticipated hiatus from posting. I've tried to write about that, to explain, many times. But... the right words just were not there for me. There's been a lot going on here. For months. More than a few crises, epiphanies, and changes of direction.

Initially, the lack of posts here was due to the combination of me being busy with what can be, fairly accurately, described as "many things breaking," and the simultaneous realization that what I wanted to write for Please Be Edible had moved beyond what I originally said I was going to write about that. That second bit resulted in my brain temporarily checking out while my emotions wrangled, in my free time, with the question "what to do?" If you just read "free time" and thought to yourself oh yes, I've read about that mythical creature before then you probably understand why this process took me so long to resolve in my mind. To the extent that it has been resolved.

As I was starting to figure things out, several things happened. It felt like they all happened back to back. Boom, boom, boom. But, really it's taken a couple months to unfold.

The boys in my life have been difficult. Well, except for Teak, who has been behaving himself. Good dog.

First, Felix relapsed. We almost lost him. Again.

And it was all my fault.

I was too busy, too distracted, too disorganized. I lost track of his medication schedule. But thankfully, when his condition changed, I noticed it. Today, he is improving.

Then school started. For the kids. For me. This is my second to last semester working on a degree I started almost ten years ago. My thoughts on that process and the state of education in this country could be a whole blog unto itself. But for now, it's a matter of balancing all the things I need to get done each day. This is a precarious balance. Little things can throw everything out of whack. Big things... well, it's just bad...

So, when I found myself at the ER with my son, who had a four inch wide hole in his abdomen and was pulsing blood onto the gurney, I just accepted right away that things were going to be tough for a while.  Oddly, or not so oddly, really, when you think about it, it has been rediscovering the joy of reading for pleasure that has helped me keep on an even keel. I owe Su-sieee! Mac over at This and That. Here and There. Now, Sometimes Then. a big thank you for this, because she suggested I join that Cozy Mystery Challenge. It's all about balance people.

So, that's where I am right now. Too little time. Too much to say, but can't find quite the right words. Trying to stay afloat. I will post more often, now that things are starting to settle a bit. But, I'm writing a lot, a ridiculous amount really, for school. And that has to get done first. Meanwhile, brace yourselves for a few posts on bigger picture topics. I've had these stuck in my mind for a while now and just haven't been able to shake them- so I've decided to share. You lucky folks you.

1 comment:

  1. Well put. It's funny how as bloggers, we feel committed to our blogs and to our writing. I struggle sometimes too, with time, with words, with priorities. It sounds like you've got your priorities in good order. So sorry about your son, sounds like a scary experience for you both. Very glad to hear about Felix. Great shot of him. And Teak.